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A Bit of Humor 195

Yes or no? Dilemma of a marriage proposal

He was a widower and she - a widow. They had known each other for a number of years, having been high school classmates and having attended class reunions together in the past.
On this 60th anniversary of their graduation, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles.
They had a wonderful evening; their spirits high, with the widower throwing admiring glances across the table and the widow smiling coyly back at him.
Finally during one dance, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about 6 seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes.... yes I will!"
Needless to say, the evening ended on a happy note for the widower.
However, the next morning he was troubled. Did she say "Yes" or did she say "No"? He couldn't remember.
Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over and over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.
He remembered asking the question, but for the life of him could not recall her response.
With fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her.
First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.
As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
"Why, you silly man", she replied. "I said 'Yes'. Yes I will! And I meant it with all my heart!" The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.
She added, "And I'm so glad you called, because I couldn't remember who asked me."

Submitted by Anna Paikow

Why Marco Polo will never forget Independence Day

When Marco Polo first opened the trade routes to China, he was impressed with their rockets. Now, these weren't quite the fireworks we now know, but they did shoot into the air, explode and make some pretty patterns.

Strangely, no matter where he went, there were people who made fireworks, but he had trouble finding someone to demonstrate them for him.

"Not here!" they said. Very confusing.

Finally, Marco Polo came upon an ancient military fortification in Chu' Lai. Here, fireworks were launched every night, and he was very impressed! But still he wondered, "Why here?" Every week, people came from great distances, bringing their own fireworks to launch there. So Marco Polo asked his guide why everyone came here to launch fireworks. Marco Polo's guide replied, "Why, honored Sir, we always set off our fireworks over the Forts of Chu' Lai!"

When insults had class

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." Abraham Lincoln
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
Oscar Wilde
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
Jack E. Leonard
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." Oscar Wilde
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." Billy Wilder

A tap that almost caused a calamity

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped inches from a shop window. For a second, everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look, pal, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!"

Schoolboy with a motormouth

"An Abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an

example of one?""Sure," young Johnny replied, "my father's new car." 



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Monday, 17 June 2024

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