How do You Tell the Children?
A project by Hadassa Ben-Ari, with illustrations by Tehila Bar-Hama
Reviewed by Carol Novis
The war with Hamas which started on October 7, 2023, was a shock, a disaster and a trauma from which we Israelis are unlikely to ever fully recover. Yet amidst the horror of that day, and in the days which followed, there were a great number of instances of courage and heroism. Ordinary people showed generosity and resilience in a myriad of ways.
Our children, says Hadassa Ben Ari, need to hear these inspiring stories.
She has taken on the challenge of telling about Israel's unsung heroes in a book she compiled with the help of many other team members – writers, psychologists, editors, designers, translators and the families themselves. The book was written in Hebrew but has been translated to English.
Her resolution dates from the day after October 7. Hadassa, a mother of seven, happened to be in Jerusalem at the time. "My children saw fear in my eyes. On one hand, I had to explain to them what had happened, but on the other hand, I didn't want to frighten them. But I knew that I had to tell them something so they wouldn't absorb information from unreliable sources, or from their imaginations. If I didn't connect them with what was going on in Israel, they wouldn't be able to connect to the Israeli story. They had to be part of what was going on with our brothers and sisters."
In telling her own children and compiling stories for a book for other children, she knew that the challenge was how to tell of tragic events in a way that suits children and doesn't unduly frighten them. She consulted educational experts and psychologists to find a suitable way to present the stories.
Her question was, how do we talk to our children about October 7?
Her conclusion: We can do this by taking account of each child's emotional maturity; by deciding which of the stories are appropriate to share; by letting children know that it is normal to feel sad, frightened and anxious; and by providing reassurance to children about the protection they receive from the IDF and other safeguards.
Hearing these stories is not just about learning how people behaved heroically. They also teach, Hadassa points out, the important values of helping others and rising above personal fears.
The book contains some 70 short stories, each a few hundred words. Adults will find them as moving as children will - I certainly did. There is the story, for example, of Ido, a small boy on Moshav Talmei Yaffe, who became friendly with the soldiers stationed there. So involved was Ido and so beloved by the soldiers that they presented him with the platoon's insignia in a special ceremony. Writes the author of the piece, Yonatan Ofir, "If you think that the soldiers did Ido a favor by including him, you may be right, but it is important to know that Ido also helped the soldiers a lot. Every time they saw him, they thought of their children at home and remembered who they are fighting for and who they are protecting."
Other stories include the tale of an all-female tank crew and of Amit, the paramedic on Kibbutz Be'eri who refused to leave and tended the injured until she lost her life. There is Shifra, the mother of 10 from the Border Guard patrol who evacuated many young people, and Supergran Yaffa Adar, 85, who was taken hostage and bravely stayed strong for the sake of her children until she was released.
Rami Davidian who rescued about 700 survivors said, speaking for many, "I didn't want to be a hero. I did what a Jewish person should do."
Such tales of bravery! And they continue – Camille, from the Philippines, was caregiver for 95-year-old Nitza. When terrorists entered their house, she faced them and offered them money in return for their lives, which amazingly, they agreed to. There is even a dog hero – Naro, from the canine unit of the IDF - who was sadly killed in the line of duty.
"As my son said, 'I didn't know there were so many heroes. You can be a kid and still be a hero. You don't have to hold a gun'," Hadassa relates.
The book was published by Yedioth Books in April and is doing well. It is now in its sixth edition. In addition, a website has attracted viewers from 50 countries around the world. A second and third volume are now in the pipeline and Hadassa is planning a trip to the United States to tell about the book. "It's important that children overseas have heroes who are not just Spiderman and Captain America. This is my dream – to be a source of inspiration."
"The Heroes of October 7th", published by Yedioth Ahronoth – Chemed Books, NIS 98, 160 pages. Also available through Amazon – hardcover $36, paperback $29, plus shipping
Profits from the book will be donated to the "Brothers for Life" nonprofit organization.