Batmitzvah - Pondering it's Meaning

When I turned 60, I looked for a meaningful way to mark my age that would reflect maturity, gratitude for what life had given me, and a sense of occasion. A party wouldn't do it. I opted for a batmitzvah.

I had never had one. When I was growing up in Winnipeg, a formal batmitzvah with haftorah reading and calling up to the Torah was rare and at age 12, I didn't have the slightest desire to put myself on show. My parents, culturally very Jewish, but not observant, didn't even suggest it. I don't think it crossed their minds.

But now?

The years had brought me an appreciation of Jewish history and tradition. More than I felt Canadian or Israeli, I felt that being Jewish was the most significant part of my identity. A batmitzvah would reflect an acknowledgement of this. It would also be a challenge, always a good thing.

There are advantages to being a, shall we say, mature batmitzvah. One daughter taught me the haftorah. Another fixed up the Hebrew in my drasha (ok, she translated it) which related the parasha to what I felt was particularly meaningful – the importance of ties of family and friendship. My mother and sister flew in. I chanted my haftorah surrounded by those who meant most to me, including members of the Masorti synagogue to which I had belonged for more than 20 years. 

How I would have appreciated back then reading Iconic Jewish Women, by Dr. Aliza Lavie. It is a book designed as an educational resource and tool for batmitzvah girls (or women) who wish to connect more deeply to their history and to strengthen their own identities as women in the Jewish community.

The book is subtitled "59 inspiring courageous, revolutionary role models for young girls" and lists them alphabetically from Sarah Aaronsohn to Zelda, the poet. Unlike many books about Jewish women role models, this book also includes interesting, creative ways to relate batmitzvah to practical, meaningful actions.

Mooted as a perfect batmitzvah gift, it's really a 'before batmitzvah" book, with its aim of helping young girls and their parents plan a meaningful ceremony that will mark the formal entry to a shared community, a circle of women and a chain of generations.

Batmitzvah, Dr Lavie notes, is not new. The custom started in 1860, in an Italian Jewish community which created a ceremony in which 12-year-old girls dressed in white and surrounded by community would recite the 10 commandments and read the song of Deborah. Today, that does not seem very revolutionary but it was at the time because it acknowledged that women too can have a role in entering Jewish adulthood in synagogue, other than sitting behind a mechitzah and quietly praying.

Of course batmitzvah ceremonies today can vary greatly. Many Orthodox girls choose study, acts of charity and perhaps a Dvar Torah for their batmitzvah year. There are feminist oriented Modern Orthodox congregations where the girl reads her portion to women only. Reform and Conservative batmitzvah celebrations, by contrast, can be similar in every respect to barmitzvahs. And there are those who choose to hold a party without any religious connection at all or take a family trip overseas.

It's quite a challenge to write a book that will connect to all these different views of what it means to be a batmitzvah, but Dr Lavie has risen to the challenge.

The 59 women chosen cover all bases, from the Bible to culture; professional success, to social and humanitarian leaders. They aren't necessarily well known or famous. What they have in common is that they are women who took part in some way in helping the Jewish people and society.

Naturally, not everyone will agree with every choice. Those who welcome the inclusion of politicians like Geula Cohen on the right are not going to be happy about Shulamit Aloni on the left, and vice versa. Some choices are obvious, such as Golda Meir and Anne Frank and some are fairly unknown, such as Glikl of Hamelin, who ran a household of 14 children, a business and kept a diary in the 1700s.

The book was previously published in Hebrew, with 71 model women rather than 59. Why is the Hebrew version different from the English? "Because," explains Dr Lavie, "there are specific cultural or political figures who speak to North Americans, such as Emma Lazarus and Bella Abzug, but not necessarily to Israelis, and others, such as Ada Maimon, a member of the first Knesset from 1949 to 1951, who speak more to Israelis.

In writing the essays, Dr Lavie included parts of the biographies of the women she chose that young women could relate to. Golda Meir's story, for example, mentions her first childhood memory from Russia – her father barricading the family door so that rioters could not break in – as well as her first public activity – collecting donations at age 11 to buy school books for needy classmates.

What makes this book different from many others which discuss famous Jewish women is Dr Lavie's linking of each biography to a way to celebrate that woman's contribution in a personal, meaningful way linked to the batmitzvah girl's interests.

The book suggests four different ways to mark batmitzvah and make a personal contribution to the world: studying a particular topic in depth, undertaking a related chesed activity, visiting a place related to the biography and taking on a particular challenge.

Take Queen Esther, for example. In a section called "Add Your Voice", the batmitzvah is invited to explore her feelings about beauty pageants. In the "Give Back" section, Dr Lavie suggests preparing mishloach manot to give to charity. In "See Something New", a visit to Kfar Baram, the purported burial place of Mordechai and Esther in the Galilee is an idea. (In case you wonder why this is Israel and not in Persia, she mentions that some believe that Esther's son Cyrus was commanded to bring her remains there.) And in the section "Get out of your comfort zone." Dr Lavie suggests reading the Megillah, which most communities agree can be done by women.

In addition, the book also includes a description of the wide world of batmitzvah, prayers and blessings related to batmitzvah, a timeline and a list of other inspiring women, including Barbra Streisand and Susan Sontag.

It's hard to believe, among all these remarkable women, that any girl can't find one that inspires her, as well as mark her batmitzvah in a way that speaks to her personally.

Dr Lavie's own biography is rich in feminist accomplishment. Her work has included academic research and writing, with five books to her credit including A Jewish Women's Prayer Book which won a National Jewish Book Award; political activism as an MK with the Yesh Atid party from 2013-2019; an educational technology venture that connects users to their heritage; chairing the Committee on the Status of Women and Gender-Equality and the Committee to Combat Women Trafficking and Prostitution.

Says Dr. Lavie, "I try to bring back rituals and prayers from the days of our mothers to today, and I want girls to feel they are part of an amazing circle of Jewish women. These role models are for all."

Available on Amazon in hardcover, paperback and e-book.

Glossary:

Haftorah – Selections from the Book of Prophets read in synagogue following Torah reading on Sabbaths and holidays

Parasha – weekly Torah portion

Mechitza – partition, particularly used to separate men and women in a synagogue

Mishloach manot – gifts of food or drink on Purim day

Megillah – Scroll. In this case, Scroll of Esther.